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IMPROVING SELF ESTEEM WITH AFFIRMATIONS AND THERAPEUTIC RELAXATION MUSIC
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Positive self-esteem is very important for our general health and wellness as human beings.

Having positive self-esteem is also important for promoting any type of healing, whether physical, emotional or spiritual. Poor or low self-esteem on the other hand can be quite detrimental to our well-being and even our very existence. Negative self-esteem can create anxiety, stress, loneliness, depression, problems with relationships, seriously impair academic and job performance and also can generate an increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse and dependency.

On the other hand, a person with positive self-esteem tends to be more motivated in taking on and creating a life that he loves, living it powerfully and in this process be authentically related to others in his community.

Having positive self-esteem appears to be necessary for having a happy and healthy existence regardless of who we are or what profession we are taking on in life.      

What is self-esteem?

We commonly think that self-esteem is merely about how we feel about ourselves at any particular moment. While seemingly existing in degrees, we tend to believe that we have positive or negative self-esteem and that we make that determination simply by how we feel about ourselves.

However, within a conversation of Transformational Counseling, our feelings or emotions do not exist alone or have an independent existence.

We do not just simply feel. Rather, for every feeling or emotion that we have, either positive or negative, there is a corresponding thought that we have about ourselves that generates the experience of self-esteem.

Whether positive or negative, self-esteem is merely how our organism experiences the thoughts that the individual has about himself or herself.

If a person has positive thoughts about himself he will experience positive or good self-esteem. On the other hand, if the individual has negative thoughts about who he thinks he is then he will experience poor or negative self-esteem.

Therefore, to truly understand what self-esteem is all about and more importantly to be able to alter it when necessary for ones wellness or healing, we must first get it that self-esteem is really about our thinking, and more specifically about the thoughts that we develop or create about ourselves. The thoughts or beliefs that we have about ourselves are crucial in that they determine or create the structure of our experience of self-esteem and the various emotions associated with it.  

We also tend to think of our self-esteem as being something that is shaped by the events that take place in our life, particularly those from our past. We tend to believe that who we think we are and how we feel about ourselves is merely the product, effect or caused by the experiences that we have had in the past, that we are who we are by virtue of what has happened to us as human beings.

More specifically, we tend to think that the cause in the matter of who we think we are and our self-esteem is due to circumstance, situation or others, people, places and things. We do not tend to think that our self-esteem is something we actually developed or created. Within the work of transformation, it is not the past, circumstance, situation or others, that determines our underlying self-image and corresponding self-esteem.
We created our thoughts and with it our emotions from the meaning that we gave to the events that took place in our life, especially at an early age. As meaning making machines we give meaning to everything in our life including and most importantly to ourselves. At an early age the meaning that we give an event tends to be made out to be all about us. While events do happen it is not the events that are important but rather the meaning that we give them and especially how we made it out to be about our identity.      

Given the fact that our thoughts determine our feelings or emotions and equally important that we are truly responsible for their creation, to change or transform our self-esteem, how we tend to feel about ourselves, amounts to us altering how we see or conceive of ourselves in the world in the now and this work is our responsibility alone. It is our self-image, how we define ourselves as an individual in the world in the present, that determines our experience of self-esteem and it is this that we are truly responsible for creating and equally responsible for transforming. When we alter or transform our definition of ourselves in the present we change how we feel about ourselves and with it our experience of reality and life in general.

If we do not get it that we are responsible for what we think about ourselves and that we are the real author of our self-image and self-esteem we will continue to blame something or some body, remain powerless and stuck in life.

The question of how to actually go about altering or improving an individual’s self-esteem is one that has been debated for many years by professionals both in the mental health and addiction arenas.          

Self-esteem can be improved or transformed in several ways. One way to improve ones self-esteem is to do the work of transformation as outlined in some our articles you'll find in our web-portal here.


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To improve ones self-esteem in this manner is to become present to ones self limiting belief, that which has stopped us in life and in the process create new possibilities for oneself, a new self-image from which to begin to live life into. Another way to improve an individual’s self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Given that the basis of self-esteem is the thoughts that a person has about himself, an individual with poor or negative self-esteem is believing negative thoughts or ideas about who he thinks he is.

The individual may think, for example, that he is “worthless” or “not good enough” and as a result will tend to experience poor or negative self-esteem. Within the work of transformation and Transformational Counseling, the thought that is at the basis or core of our self-talk is defined as a person’s Self Limiting Belief, the fundamental or core belief about who we think we are.

Unless this core thought or belief that a person has about himself is changed or transformed he will continue to experience a poor or negative self-esteem and as a result of this negative thought pattern create or generate life experiences that will match and validate what they think about themselves. Given such a cognitive and emotional situation life will continue to appear as it has in the past and ones future will merely be the probable almost certain future.           

Utilizing positive affirmations can be a very powerful tool for transforming what a person thinks about himself and as a result improve the individual’s self-esteem.

Consistent use of positive affirmations will transform the negative beliefs about who a person thinks he is into positive ones, will begin to alter the basis and structure of his self talk or inner voice and produce a transformation from poor self-esteem to positive self-esteem. While utilized in a various ways, working with positive affirmations will be more effective when delivered through or combined with therapeutic relaxation music.

What therapeutic relaxation music does to enhance the effect of positive affirmations is to create a very relaxed audio environment for the individual to become even more open or suggestive to the language of positive affirmations.

When therapeutic relaxation music is combined with binaural audio tones the audio space that is created for the delivery of positive affirmations is even more relaxing and as a result very powerful. In addition to utilizing a unique type of therapeutic relaxation music, the infusion of either theta or alpha binaural tones is crucial for the success of this type of intervention.

When therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones are combined in this fashion the individual will experience a very deep state of relaxation and as a result be more open to the reception and eventual acceptance of the positive affirmations.

The key to the effective use of positive affirmation in this or any other type of intervention is consistency. The self-image and the negative thoughts about who a person thinks he is that generates his experience of poor or negative self-esteem is well established in the his belief system.

In many cases the development of a negative self-image took years to create and has been reinforced through repetitive behavioral validation. Once a person creates and then believes that a self-limiting belief is true he will continually act as if it is true. This seemingly fundamental belief will appear to the person as true and as a result will continually be acted upon and thereby be reinforced through ones behavior. Much of that person’s behavior will be to continually validate who he thinks he is. Ones behavior will always be directed at supporting, reinforcing and validating what the person believes is true about him.

While necessary for ones well-being and health, such a transformation of ones self-image from being basically a negative one to one that is fundamentally positive does not happen instantly.

self esteem and success
As with the development of an individual’s negative self-image, the development of a more adequate belief about the true nature of the individual will necessitate consistent and repetitive work by the person. Basic to this process is that the individual must fully embrace his sense of complete responsibility for the development of his self-image and also for its transformation.

To do otherwise will only leave the individual feeling powerless and unable to create the life that he or she truly desires and unless there is consistency and repetition such a transformation will simply not happen.               

Some "Enhancing My Self Esteem" on Youtube, are audio professional creations that will effectively transform the very structure of an individual’s thought or belief pattern, the basic ideas and language structure that he uses to define who he thinks he is in the world. These audio-tracks were designed specially to change the self-talk that a person experiences on a daily basis by changing the ideas or beliefs that the person has about himself, the very foundation or backdrop of his inner conversation.

As our identity is merely language, change the language in a person’s mind and his life transforms.

By listening to these productions an individual has the opportunity to practice or repeat fifty positive affirmations that will empower them to alter their life. Listening to positive affirmations before sleep also allows the person’s mind to begin this restructuring or reprogramming process even while the individual sleeps by taking the words and language into their dream state.

By consistently listening to and practicing the positive affirmations in these tracks the individual will have the opportunity to begin to redefine themselves, who they think they are in the world, from one that is negative to one that is positive and enhancing for their life.

With the acceptance of the words and language of the positive affirmations will come an improved self-image and with it an experience of positive self esteem.


So:How To Boost Self Esteem?
Try following this guideline Today

A low self esteem is one of the leading causes of depression.

Working to boost your self esteem can increase your chances for success and happiness on both a personal and professional level. While many people realize that they need to boost their feeling of self worth, it is not always easy to accomplish. However, there are several ways that you can increase your self esteem.

Here are seven ways to boost your self esteem.

Play To Your Strengths

self esteem and your lifeFirst it is important to determine who you are.

What nouns can you use to describe yourself (wife, mother, friend, teacher, etc.)? Also make a list of your strengths, capabilities, and skills. Many times our feeling of self worth are wrapped up in our negative perceptions of ourselves, especially in terms of areas where we feel a lack such as our physical appearance, education, finances, job, etc. However it is important to remember that our weight, our skin, our career, etc. are not who we are. Who we are is inside us and too often we hide the beauty of our generous souls, creative natures, and joyful zest behind walls we have built to protect ourselves. This can cut us off from others but even more dangerous it can cut us off from ourselves.

Identify what is unique and special about yourself and regularly reaffirm that you are in fact skilled and knowledgeable in those areas. Find at least one area of your life that is a source of pride and joy in your life. Make sure to give yourself permission to explore that area and experience it as much as possible.

Lay Down Your Burdens

So often we dwell on our weaknesses and worries until they loom larger than life and begin to dominate our thoughts and emotions. Spend a few minutes every day writing down your worries and negative thoughts then close the book and push the negativity to the back of your mind. Concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper. Amazingly, after writing them down the anxieties begin to fade.

Be True To Yourself

Too often we experience failure because we let others choose our goals for us whether it is society, our parents, partners, friends, or teachers. Don't set goals based on the expectations of others but rather on what you want to do, what you enjoy doing, and what you dream about doing. Following someone else's dreams rather than our own is setting ourselves up for failure which then leads to lower self esteem. Of course then we are even less likely to pursue our own goals which then leads to a cycle of failure and low self esteem.

Become A Positive Person
Think and speak positively. If you hear a compliment or positive statement about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it. Concentrate on speaking positively of others as well as yourself. The more you concentrate your energy on positive reinforcement for yourself as well as for others the easier it will become to be a positive person with a strong self esteem.

This also means becoming a more friendly person to those people who are a regular part of your life as well as strangers you simply pass at the store or on the street. Smile, nod, comment on the weather or life, and focus on giving others a reason to smile as well. Give yourself and others positive rewards for being and doing well.

Take Risks

Learn something new. Start a new hobby, learn a new skill, take a class, read challenging books, or engage in a new physical challenge or activity. Don’t be afraid of mistakes or failure. Simply stepping outside your comfortable rut is a success and every new skill and every piece of new knowledge gained is a success. Perhaps the final project is not as successful as you hoped but don't overlook the other gains you made from the experience. Risk-taking builds confidence and gives you the courage to experience still more new things.

Each new experience can help you learn and grow as a person as well as give you the opportunity for more success.

Maybe that quilt didn't turn out as beautiful as you hoped but you did make new friends in the class or found a great way to relieve stress. And perhaps you learned enough from the experience so your next quilt will be beautiful.

Always remember trying and failing still puts you ahead of the person who didn't try at all.

Discount the Negative

Too often our negative perceptions of ourselves, whether it is our physical appearance, our financial status, or professional life, is determined by outside influences.


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It is important to remember that rarely do these negative projections come from an unbiased source so we should give them little credence.

road to erase depressionFor example, if the messenger is popular culture or media, remember their goal is to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy what they are selling. Similarly, many people (even people who love you) often build themselves up at the expense of others.

It can help you improve your self esteem simply by keeping better company.

Positive feeds positive and negative breeds negative.

If you choose to be around positive people you in turn will become more positive.

Don’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem. It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable.

Take Small Steps

A small success can bring a big feeling of competence. Small steps lead to more steps. Pat your self on the back every time you make a small success.

Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction, this is the practice of self-esteem.

Using these seven strategies can help you boost your self esteem and help you lead a happier and more successful life.
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